Anger, Friends and Losing The Ones You Love.
By Molly Tostevin 9B
I’d Never Change A Thing.
“Hello?”
“Hey Eve, it’s Pete.”
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good, yeah.”
“Awesome. Cayleigh’s over, she says hi.”
“Yeah, hi Cayleigh. Hey, are you guys up for coming over?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, we’ll just walk over.”
“Umm… it’s pretty dark…”
“We’ll be fine.”
“Fantastic. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.”
“Bye Eve.”
We’re All In The Back Singing Roxanne.
“WHAT’S THIS? WHAT’S THIS? THE SIGHTS, THE SOUNDS, THEY’RE EVERYWHERE AND ALL AROUND. WHAT, IS, THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS?”
Pete, Cayleigh and I are singing along to songs from Nightmare Before Christmas.
We’re eating chips and melted chocolate (yes, mixed together).
We’re drinking Home Brand lemonade, while attempting to light a fondue bowl of Lynx on fire.
We’re at Pete’s house, because he called us at
So now, we’re sinking into Pete’s couch and screaming “THIS IS HALLOWEEN!”
-That was back when we didn’t worry.
The Way Things Are.
So life, yeah?
Life isn’t bad.
Not good either, but not bad.
The way I see it, it’s just one massive routine:
Wake up, go to school, do work, see friends, more work, go home, more work, and go to bed.
That’s it. No more.
Sometimes you break routine,
And go out after school with your friends; go to a concert or something,
But even breaking the routine is just part of the routine.
So there’s no escape. At all. Ever.
And if you could, even the escape would become some sort of routine.
And that’s being optimistic, thinking of escape.
“Hey Eve….”
And my train of thought is interrupted by someone calling my name.
The Thunder.
It splits, it burns, but it has to be done.
It’s not like it doesn’t hurt like this without it.
“Sitting outdances on the wall…”
Music fights its way into my ears.
“I’m gonna leave you”
I should.
”I wanna scream “I love you” from the top of my lungs..”
I shouldn’t.
But I do.
Choose Love Or Sympathy… But Never Both.
I saw it.
I saw it happen.
Two lives entwining.
Two lives, neither of them mine.
You knew. You knew and you did this anyway.
Considering, I would too.
Don’t try to stop, you’re in too deep.
The thought of it makes me shudder.
A boy and a girl, genuinely happy,
And neither of them is me.
Why So Serious?
“Would I look good with half my face completely burned off?”
“…What a stupid question. But yes…”
Josh and I were discussing Batman.
I wish I was Two Face.
It’s so fitting of the way I am,
I wouldn’t cover it up.
So it’s decided. I will douse half my face in kerosene…
In my dreams.
One Awkward Silence
“I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”
“It’s okay… it’s not like you stabbed me in the back or anything… really it’s okay.”
“No, that’s the thing. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M DOING.”
“You couldn’t control this even if you wanted to. It’s not your fault.”
“It is. You’re going out with him. I shouldn’t feel like this.”
“It’s okay to like him.”
“Not to me, it isn’t.”
And I walk away from Cayleigh, my best friend, feeling like a true villain.
Do They Remember That?
Sitting at home.
“A simple contradiction, could shake my whole foundation… Parker Lewis can’t lose…”
Music, of course.
My room:
Guitars, cds, books, bed, DVD’s and I.
My room.
So now I’m thinking of lyrics:
Guitars (My smile’s an open wound without you)
Cds (Get, get addicted to this)
Books (I left my conscience pressed between the pages)
Bed (But me, I’m just the covers)
DVDs (In the movie of my life, starring you, instead of me)
And then the picture of Cayleigh, Pete and I, the way we used to be (Good god, I wish I was tall… take aim at myself)
I want that back.
Cayleigh- Where Is Your Boy?
Wow.
Pete.
I think he really likes me (of course he does)
I can remember when it happened.
My iPod was shouting.
“Her bone structure screams “Touch her, touch her””
Exactly how he should’ve felt.
I could really love him.
But I won’t.
He’s just what’s happening until I find someone I can love.
And Eve, she’s just jealous.
Pete- Pretty In Punk.
So, Eve’s pretty angry.
Wouldn’t have a clue as to why.
I think her and Cayleigh are fighting or something… (Cayleigh…☺♥)
I remember when Eve and I were younger.
I mean, when we were about 4.
We didn’t have to worry about any of this.
And Cayleigh…
I’m so happy.
Dear Gravity.
It’s over.
They’re both upset, but not me.
It’s selfish, yes, I know.
But I don’t care.
It’s over.
“They’re” over.
It’s stupid, yes, I know.
But it doesn’t matter.
It’s over.
About time.
It’s compassionless, yes, I know.
But so am I.
Am I Walking In A Straight Line? Am I? AM I??!?!?
“No, Pete. But at least you can catch.”
We were doing tests outside for P.E with beer vision goggles.
Pete started running down the crack in the pavement, arms flailing and all.
“Oy, give me a go…”
He handed me the goggles.
“So are you and Cayleigh okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, we’re fine. It’s a little awkward and all, but we’re still friends”
“It’ll be fine. But… have you got anyone else in mind?”
“No. Hey, do we need to write the test results down?”
“Yeah”
He’ll hate me, more than he’ll notice I wrote this for him
(for hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim, so.)
Damn lyrics.
Mark and I Might Look Young, But We’re No Less Defeated.
“Dude, that is such a beard”
“Yeah, but I’ve been shaving it”
Mark and I were discussing his chin.
“Esteban looks like he’s from the 70’s, doesn’t he?”
I look across the classroom to Esteban.
He does.
“..What..?”
Esteban is curious.
“Nothing” both Mark and I say simultaneously.
“Hey, if it ever occurs that we have a kid, we should call it Jamaican” Josh says as he leans over to my desk.
Mark and Josh, my best friends, and escapes.
Xo.
In my room, again.
I see it all the same things, differently.
Summary of the past few weeks:
Pete asks Cayleigh out.
I go into breakdown mode.
Cayleigh breaks up with Pete.
Pete and I are just friends, unfortunately.
Cayleigh and I are still friends.
Homework overdue, due to lack of caring about anything.
And I’ve realized one thing, only I don’t know why:
My loose lips can sink ships.
